"Comfort" by Ely Winkler (Another Gay Jew Blog)
02/21/13 I stand by a few rules in life; one of them being, "no should ever be forced to do something or forced to be in a situation they are uncomfortable with." The key word in this thought is the word "DO".
Too many people hide behind "discomfort". One might say, "I don't like gay people, they make me uncomfortable. I don't like people who are of a different race, they make me uncomfortable." Well, here's the thing, if you don't like these people, then don't BE them. No one's asking you to be gay or to be a different race. But simply denouncing someone's rights to exist, their rights to equality, and their rights to BE, is not because you're uncomfortable, but more likely comes from a place of ignorance.
I was very uncomfortable, for many years, with being gay. And that was my right to be uncomfortable with- it wasn't something I had grown up hearing about, believing in, understanding, or something I was okay with. So I was uncomfortable that it was a part of me. Over time, I worked and strove to find comfort with who I am, and still work to this day to test my limits and learn my comforts and discomforts as part of being gay. But most importantly, not understanding something for whatever reason- because it's new to you, because it goes against your religion, or just because you don't know enough- shouldn't make you "uncomfortable", and doesn't give you a right to hate. It gives reason to avoid someone or something that makes you uncomfortable- a gay bar, perhaps- but not a right to be hurtful.
There is a fine line between discomfort and ignorance. Often times, I find myself "uncomfortable" with something, simply because I was/am ignorant to it. I don't know about this other culture, other lifestyle, other way of behaving, and my initial reaction is "it makes me uncomfortable". But more recently I learn to express my discomfort by asking questions, striving to grow and to learn instead of running away in discomfort. I seek to become less ignorant, and therefore more "comfortable".
If you don't like gay people, don't be gay. If you don't like gay marriage, don't get gay married. But don't go around claiming "discomfort" as a rationalization for your ignorance and hate. Acknowledge your flaw, and if you so choose, strive to grow to a place of tolerance and comfort.
http://anotherfrumgayjew.blogspot.com/2013/02/comfort.html
Other Blogs/Websites
-
A Thousand Words – Febuary 6, 2023
-
“You planted the melodies within me… now they are rising and growing” (from
the Israeli song, ‘Niggunim’) This week, in honor of Tu B’Shvat, OTS’s
Neveh Sh...
15 hours ago
-
Australia Day 2023 honours for elder abuse law trailblazer, Indigenous activist and a fossil hunter | The Guardian
-
Australia Day 2023 honours for elder abuse law trailblazer, Indigenous
activist and a fossil hunter Other recipients whose work might go under the
national...
2 weeks ago
-
Bar-Ilan Conference draws 1000 participants
-
“Rabbi, Lord, Professor”: Conference at Bar-Ilan University honouring Rabbi
Sacks draws 1000 participants Israel’s Bar-Ilan University hosted a
three-day c...
2 weeks ago
-
The Refreshed, Reset Cup
-
My favorite cup of coffee each year is the one sipped the morning after Yom
Kippur. It’s not only holy for its absence from my life for the past 48
hours ...
4 months ago
-
Are Jews Allowed to Gamble?
-
There’s a lot of debate surrounding gambling and whether or not it’s
ethical. But what about when it comes to Jews? Can they gamble without
transgressing a...
8 months ago
-
Bible Stories for Grown Ups
-
1 Start 2 Complete
Contact 1
First Name
Last Name
Email
Submit
1 year ago
-
Parsha with Chana
-
I've decided to write meditations on the weekly Parsha at my new substack,
'Parsha with Chana.'
Feel free to click here to subscribe and have it deliver...
1 year ago
-
Giving credit where it’s due
-
On the 1 year anniversary of the WHO calling Covid 19 a pandemic I received
my second Moderna vaccine. When I received it I felt an obvious sigh of
relief ...
1 year ago
-
Parsha Perspectives: Parshat Terumah
-
Parsha Perspectives: Parshat Terumah
Insights into Parshat Terumah by Rabbi Eliahu Birnbaum – Director of OTS's
Beren-Amiel and Straus-Amiel Emissary Tra...
4 years ago
-
Update on Tuvia Perlman
-
On Tuesday, I published a Facebook post about a man named Tuvia Perlman,
who worked as a teacher and a choir director in Milwaukee after moving
there from ...
5 years ago
-
"Coming out” as a parent of a gay child
-
March 7, 2017, 1:47 pm
My elder son David was fifteen when he told us he was gay – not that he had
actually intended to tell us quite then.
He said he was...
5 years ago
-
When There Is No Derech from Which to Stray
-
This weekend I had the amazing opportunity to represent (JQY) Jewish Queer
Youth at Keshet's Shabbaton for LGBTQ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender,
and ...
8 years ago
-
All this happened!
-
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rabbi-shmuly-yanklowitz/orthodox-rabbi-gay-marriage_b_4452154.html
A modern orthodox rabbi "comes out" in support of gay rights...
9 years ago
-
Blogging for Me
-
When I came out, it wasn’t for anyone but myself. I came out to be true to
who I was, because there was something inside of me that kept me from being
my...
9 years ago
-
Dvar Torah, Parshat Terumah
-
I delivered this Dvar Torah at Saturday morning services during this past
weekend’s KOACH Kallah at the University of Pennsylvania. Shabbat Shalom.
In this...
9 years ago
-
Remember me?! UPDATE!
-
Hello everyone!
Sorry I haven't written anything in quite awhile, but these past six
months have been very grueling! I was in two schools (LIM Col...
10 years ago
-
Everyone is Special
-
A few weeks ago, I was at a popular yeshiva day school in the tri-state
area. While I was there, the school was holding a “parade” to celebrate the
boys’...
10 years ago
-
Impact
-
I know I haven't written in quite a while- over a month, actually. It's
partly been because life has been extra-busy recently, and mostly because
of the wr...
10 years ago
-
The Spouse Hunt
-
I grew up with the mentality of looking at anyone who even thought to get
married before securing a job as completely ridicules and irresponsible. I
have r...
13 years ago
-
-
-
-
-
No comments:
Post a Comment
TO COMMENT: