I previously had the opportunity of taking the History of Sexuality in the United States. This semester I am taking Human Sexuality and Psychology of Sex Difference. Well, some topics that we discuss and learn in class are a little sensitive in nature. This is especially true because we have a very diverse mix of people.
Last night I had my Human Sexuality class. In class we were speaking about Sexual Orientation. We spoke about the "It get's better" campaign that has gone viral all over the country in the past year or so. Well, a young lady in the class asked what it was.
I really tried to control myself, because you really have to have lived in a hole in the ground to not know this. Yes I was insulted that she was so ignorant, but this is what is accepted in society today. Even in such a prestigious learning institution, we still have people like this.
Another student raised their hand and asked why do homosexuals have to "come out". She was just not understanding why... Well, I think I have the answer. When we live in a society that automatically labels and thinks that every person is Heterosexual. People automatically take for granted and think that we are automatically all heterosexual. The reason people have to come out is because people do not ask, they just assume. If they do not come out, they cannot speak about their spouse or anything in their life. It is not about saying I have sex with me. It is about this is who I love and so on. I grew up with going to every wedding and other places and all I would be told was "Abal" or I have a girl for you and so on. It does get annoying. You want to scream and say, why do you assume one thing and just slap that onto me. I am me and I do not fit that mold and if you do not know, you will continue trying to set me up and making me think that I have no choice. I felt stifled and miserable. I felt like a fake in every sense of the word. I explained to this student, how would you feel if you could never say anything about your spouse or had to answer the phone in front of people and say hey Nora and not Noah or Simone instead of Simon. Think about how that would feel. Are you able to be honest and be the same person on the inside and outside. Secrets are deadly. Secrets cause anger, depression and loneliness.
One of the exercises we did in class was write down what level on the Kinsey Scale one would be. One end was totally Heterosexual and the other end was totally Homosexual. Well, I was the only one out of 40 people that wrote totally homosexual. Now, they were handed in without names and then the teacher passed those out and we would have to be what was on the card that was passed back out. Well, most everybody was on the fully heterosexual end. Out of 40 people, I think people cannot even write it on an anonymous card, because they feel that they do not want to put the truth down because someone might see what they wrote and so on. Also, some might just not want to disclose anything about themselves. I am not sure, but I can tell you that no way can that be true. A. We are in a Sexuality class that would probably have more students that are interested in this. Many LGBT students would want to take these classes. Listen, I didn't come out until I was 22. A friend just came out to me that graduated last month and never told anyone. He was scared of his own shadow for so long that he would never have said a word, even anonymously.
It is so easy for people to judge others and think that anything that is not what the majority does is abnormal. This is done to many minorities. The Blacks, Jews, Hispanics, Muslims, Mormons and so on. What am I speaking of here? Well, when the majority is used to everyone they know believing in Jesus, then they will automatically think someone is strange that does not. Same when someone grew up in an all white community and so on. When I grew up, I always thought that the Chinese laundry that my mother would take the family shirts was called the "Chinx". God bless her, but she grew up the same way. It was normal to use the word "Chinx" for Chinese people. When I moved to NYC at age 22, I asked someone where the "Chinx" were. The person looked at me as if I was crazy. So I said you know the place where I take my shirts to be cleaned. Well, thank God that person was patient and understanding. He explained what that meant and I was like no way. Well, he was correct. Is it my mother's fault? No, how would she know the difference if she grew up in an insular community where that term was normal and accepted to use for Chinese people.
These students in my class that asked these so-called insulting questions are just a product of their family, school and community that they grew up in. We have politicians stating that AIDS is only a homosexual disease. A politician that says that homosexuals do not need special protections. Another that would say it should be law that the words gay and so on cannot be used in the education system. Ones that think that gay marriage will cause children to become gay. People that think that if a student has a gay teacher or gay parents that it will influence the child's sexual orientation. As Harvey Milk said back in the 1970's when fighting discrimination, If having homosexual teachers, parents and anything that a child is exposed to will cause that child to become gay than I should have been purely heterosexual. All these myths are what people take as truth. Whatever is repeated the most in society becomes what people believe.
I know I need to be more patient with others, because if I didn't go through what I had then I may not have known what I know. There are also many things I don't know and I have to remember this. I don't know everything, nor will I ever. Maybe the human being focuses only on what affects and interests themselves.
Rich Dweck
-I apologize for any spelling or grammar mistakes on here. I am typing quickly and on my Ipad...
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