Saturday, December 31, 2011

"Homeless for the Holidays: Portraits of New York City's Homeless LGBT Youth"

You weren't born to be abandoned
You weren't born to be forsaken
You were born to be loved
You were born to be loved

--Lucinda Williams

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/carl-siciliano/homeless-gay-youth_b_1158040.html  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/carl-siciliano/homeless-gay-youth_b_1158040.html

Friday, December 30, 2011

Teens React to Rick Perry's Strong


These Orgs are Saving Gay Lives Everyday! Think about them when you give your Charity!

http://www.queerty.com/save-a-life-this-holiday-10-gay-organizations-worth-dipping-into-your-wallet-20111230/

"Baby New Year Is Gay" (Onion type article) ;)

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/domenick-scudera/baby-new-year-is-gay_b_1172878.html

"Lessons from Sharing the Story of My (Possibly) Gay 6-Year-Old Son"

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/Amelia/gay-children_b_954350.html?ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false

**SUICIDE PREVENTION INFORMATION**

-->
IMPORTANT!! National Hotlines
1. Trevor Project- Suicide Prevention 

 Website: www.glnh.org/ 
SUICIDE Helpline- 1-888-488-7386
Email: http://www.thetrevorproject.org/deartrevor
Mission: 24 hour crisis hotline for GLBTQ youth

Warning Signs:
1.Increased Isolation from family and friends,
2.Alcohol or Drug Use Increases,
3. Expression of negative attitude toward self,Expression of hopelessness or helplessness,
4.Change in Regular Behavior, Loss of interest in usual activities,
5.Giving away valued possessions,
6.Expression of a lack of future orientation (i.e. "It won't matter soon anyway"), 7.Expressing Suicidal Feelings,
8.Signs of Depression,
9. Describes a Specific Plan for Suicide, History of Suicide in the Family,
10.A person who has been extremely depressed in the past may be at an increased risk for suicide if the depression begins to cease, as they may now have the psychological energy to follow through on a suicidal ideation.

Facts About LBGT Youth:
·   
  •           Nine out of 10 LGBT students (86.2%) experienced harassment at school; three-fifths (60.8%) felt unsafe at school because of their sexual orientation; and about one-third (32.7%) skipped a day of school in the past month because of feeling unsafe (GLSEN National School Climate Survey 2009).
  • ·         LGBT students are three times as likely as non-LGBT students to say that they do not feel safe at school (22% vs. 7%) and 90% of LGBT students (vs. 62% of non-LGBT teens) have been harassed or assaulted during the past year. (GLSEN From Teasing to Torment 2006)


  •          Sexual minority youth, or teens that identify themselves as gay, lesbian or bisexual, are bullied two to three times more than heterosexuals. (Nationwide Children's Hospital, Columbus, OH 2010)
·       
  •           Almost all transgender students had been verbally harassed (e.g., called names or threatened in the past year at school because of their sexual orientation (89%) and gender expression (89%) (GLSEN: Harsh Realities, The Experiences of Transgender Youth In Our Nation’s Schools 2009)


  •         LGBT youth in rural communities and those with lower adult educational attainment face particularly hostile school climates (JG, Greytak EA, Diaz EM – Journal of Youth & Adolescence 2009)
·       
  •          Lesbian, gay, and bisexual adolescents are 190 percent more likely to use drugs and alcohol than are heterosexual teens (Marshal MP, Friedman MS, et al – Addiction 2008).
·     
  •          It is estimated that between 20 and 40 percent of all homeless youth identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, and/or transgender (2006 National Gay & Lesbian Task Force: An Epidemic of Homelessness). 


  •           62% of homeless LGB youth will attempt suicide at least once—more than two times as many as their heterosexual peers (Van Leeuwen JMm et al – Child Welfare 2005)
      
     Click the read more button below for the rest of the list and information 


Thursday, December 22, 2011

"Ignorance or Plan? Special or Unaware? Preparation or Assumption?" by Rich Dweck

       Many people that have been through being gay, closeted and orthodox. Many people have just left the community and moved on. Others have stayed in the community, have married or just tried to have a foot in both worlds. To many young people going through this and thinking they are the "only ones". In the 1980's, the community lost members to the "Aids Crisis". If anyone asked, they would say they had cancer or something to cover it up. What's the point here? The point that needs to be made, people need to be aware.

        We have families that left the community and started anew because of many other issues. For some, they felt that they could no longer raise their children in a society that was so dishonest. If people had no issues, they were comfortable. If people had any issue, such as divorce, autistic child, homosexual in the family, pregnancy out of wedlock, abuse issues, bullying in schools and of course people that did not want their children growing up in a world that ignores the world around them. To many, people are happy within this cocoon. What about the others that are unhappy?

        Most of the community only prepared people for living inside the community. What happens if you can't stay? What happens if your path is different? What happens if you marry someone from another community and move there? What happens if you are gay? What happens if it is no longer healthy for you to be in the community? What happens if your child tell you they are gay?

        The Jewish Community should help prepare it's children for the world, not just the their world. Do we teach safe sex in schools? Do we teach what contraception is? Do we make university important? Do we just teach our children how to go in the family business. Are we preparing them for the world? What if they end up in another industry, company or state? Are we preparing our children for life? Do we teach them about drugs? Do we teach them to accept and embrace who they are? Do we push them to find their passion? Do we care if they are happy?

       Some might say "who needs that", "If it's not ours, then why should we care", "If we open ourselves up, then it will ruin what we have", "All they need to do is learn torah and they will be fine", "We are not Americans, we are special", "We don't want them subject to the world out there".

       Have you ever thought about these problems, concerns and questions?

Thank you,

Rich Dweck 
   

An Inclusive College Campus- George Washington University

An Inclusive Campus

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

UN issues first report on human rights of gay and lesbian people

UN issues first report on human rights of gay and lesbian people

President Obama Sends Letter Congratulating Gay Couple on Their Marriage

http://unicornbooty.com/blog/2011/12/20/president-obama-sends-letter-congratulating-gay-couple-on-their-marriage/

National Union of Jewish LGBT Students-The 2012 Annual NUJLS Conference

http://www.auhillel.org/nujls.html

EXPERIENCE A SPIRITED SHABBAT IN A  WELCOMING ENVIRONMENT
Come with friends and connect with Student Leaders

 Explore our nations capital

NUJLS 2012 Conference:Advocating Our Identities
REGISTER FOR
THE CONFERENCE

Early Bird Registration is now LIVE for the conference.  We have students from across North America joining us for our 2012 Annual Conference: Advocating Our Identities.  
Are you?

Sign up today and pay by January 8th to get the amazing Early Bird rate of just $75.

Disney Employees Reach Out to Bullied Youth (Video)

http://artdept.advocate.com/post/14536826415/disney-employees-reach-out-to-bullied-youth-video

Homeless for the Holidays: Portraits of New York City's Homeless LGBT Youth (PHOTOS)

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/carl-siciliano/homeless-gay-youth_b_1158040.html

 You weren't born to be abandoned
You weren't born to be forsaken
You were born to be loved
You were born to be loved

--Lucinda Williams



McInerney sentenced to 21 years for killing gay classmate Larry King

McInerney sentenced to 21 years for killing gay classmate Larry King

Saturday, December 17, 2011

"Still New And Learning How It All Works"

       Over the past 5-6 days, I posted, un-posted, reposted and so on. This is the first time I have ever put together a blog and I have to say I have no idea how this all came together. I get very enthusiastic when I am trying a new project. It's very important that I keep these things in mind; 1) Everything posted on the net stays forever, 2) Who is my target audience, 3) What is my purpose in having this? 4) Am I making this all about me and losing what outcome I am trying to bring forth? 5) Did I get caught up in the excitement of something new and allow that to cloud my judgement? 6) Am I getting addicted to the #'s of visitors growing hundreds everyday?
        I do have to say that I could say yes to almost all of these. Sometimes I have to take a step back and assess my actions. I have to bring myself back down to earth and remember I am not the one in charge. EGO= Etching G-d Out! Ego's have destroyed many. I ask G-d to guide me in this journey and help me make the right decisions and allow me to be a vessel for his work. Last thing to keep in mind is that I am not perfect and that's ok. We learn by making mistakes. It makes us stronger. Thank you all for your patience. I have to keep in mind that this is for my visitors and not for me. I hope you enjoy and lower some of your expectations. Remember, I am not mr. techy and am just figuring this out. Thanks!
Rich

In prayer it is better to have a heart without words than words without a heart. Mohandas Gandhi

Anderson Cooper's Anti-Bullying Series: Too Many Kids Have Died Already' (VIDEO)

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/10/07/anderson-cooper-bullying_n_1000024.html

What is Hanukkah?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/16/hanukkah-2011-dates-custo_n_1152032.html

Friday, December 16, 2011

....


Powerful: "Eyes Wide Open" - trailer with English subs

GOP 'Family Values' Mayor Greg Davis forced "OUT"

http://www.towleroad.com/2011/12/gop-family-values-mayor-greg-davis-of-southaven-ms-forced-out-of-closet-by-receipts-from-gay-sex-sho.html

Has anyone ever wondered why their is always another scam from the very people that are all about so-called "Family Values". Judaism is not the only faith dealing with this issue. And it seems as people all over are trying to hide the issue and fight against it, but many times the fight is one of their own. Many of the most Homophobic people are actually homosexual. This is not an absolute, but you will see more articles I will post. Also, please send me an email if you want to write an article, even if you want it to be put up anonymously.

Rich

"Misguided Rabbinical Priorities"- Rabbi Rackover



Misguided Rabbinical Priorities

Thursday, December 8, 2011
Jewish Week 
Rabbi Mordechai Rackover

   

        Nowadays Orthodoxy is all about sex. Immodesty, promiscuity, homosexuality: the public discourse of the Orthodox Jewish world seems disproportionately to take place in the bedroom, the dressing room, and the closet.

       Gender is also a related hot topic. What are women? What can and can't they do? What can they, but shouldn’t they? And what about men? Can men marry each other? Live together? Adopt children? Out of the closet? In the closet? On the bima? In the shul?
       
       This discourse isn’t much of a conversation. Discourse comes from an Old French word and implies ‘back and forth’ – or, in the language of Talmud study with which all Orthodox rabbis are familiar, 'shakla ve-tarya,' give and take.  But the public discourse of the Orthodox has become — proudly, defiantly, and almost by definition — all give and no take: an unending series of pronouncements and responses, murmurings, blog-posts, unending comment threads and online flame-wars. These "conversations" are merely the strident repetition of entrenched positions. More and more I understand the expression, “it’s like talking to a wall.” 

       While these non-conversations about sex and gender proliferate, the incidence of child rapeverbal and physical abuse of womenpoverty, weakening schools and riven families, to name only a few crises, increases. Fewer children keep Shabbat and more adults work like dogs to send their children to day schools, sacrificing time they might otherwise actually spend with them.

       Sex has nothing to do with most of the problems I’ve listed, and the energies that are put into hand-wringing and petition-signing over sexual ethics could be far better placed.

       The case in point: recently Rabbi Steve Greenberg, who was ordained by Yeshiva University, subsequently came out as gay, and has argued that there is no contradiction between being gay and Orthodox, performed a wedding in which he sanctified the union of two men. The media reported that an Orthodox rabbi performed a gay marriage and all kinds of rabbis began talking to their favorite walls. Then a group of over one hundred rabbis got together to declare that this was not an orthodox wedding and that no such wedding was possible. Big News! The Torah and Orthodox understanding of Halakha prohibit gay marriage. Who knew?

       An Orthodox rabbi myself, I happen to agree that this was not an Orthodox wedding. But I think these rabbis' response is a much bigger problem than two Orthodox gay men seeking a way to dignify their relationship through marriage.
Who do these rabbis think is listening? What compelled them to lash out? Do they anticipate an impending rash of orthodox gay marriages? Did their synagogue Executive Directors ask for guidance with all the calls to book gay weddings? Do they think that Jews to the left of Orthodoxy need to be reminded that the orthodox establishment considers them wrong?

       These rabbis bang on their lecterns and chests and fight for attention to keep themselves in the center of attention: to declare that they are in charge and that they alone define Judaism. And in so doing, in drawing lines where no one is looking for them, they routinely miss the places that everyone is looking for wisdom and moral guidance in the problems they face in their actual lives.
We are bereft of relevant leadership and opinions that matter. In recent years we’ve watched as an increasing number of aspects of orthodox Jewish life have become narrower. Kashrut is beset with polarizing stringencies. Increasing swathes of public life (synagogues, buses, sidewalks, funerals) are becoming less hospitable to women. Conversion is a minefield and women remain bound in unwanted marriages by rabbis who refuse to respond.

       And one hundred rabbis saw fit to speak out…on a marriage that no one that they are speaking to was likely even to have known about.

       I believe Orthodoxy no longer exists as a coherent ideology. There are gangs of rabbis in different clubs. Sometimes they work together, sometimes against each other, depending on their interest of the moment. In the meantime they have so eroded their moral and legal footing that even the once faithful are falling away. So many people have gone down this path that even the fundamental practices of our faith have become twisted and unrecognizable. And here we are at another moment of niggling erosion where rabbis who could spend valuable time and energy have misplaced their power and in so doing lost a little more of what little relevance they may have left.
 Email: rabbi@brown.edu



Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Screenplay: “Stunning”- Director David Adjmi

Once a Boyhood Outsider, Now Reflecting on His Tribe

Published: June 16, 2009
David Adjmi, whose play “Stunning” at the Duke on 42nd Street will be his professional New York theater debut on Thursday, bit into a slice at the Di Fara Pizza parlor. Great food and bad history met in that recent moment of triumphant homecoming.

Robert Stolarik for The New York Times
David Adjmi outside the high school division of the Yeshivah of Flatbush, in the Midwood section of Brooklyn.

 

Sara Krulwich/The New York Times
Cross-cultural girl talk: Cristin Milioti as a teenage Syrian-Jewish wife, and Charlayne Woodard as her live-in housekeeper.
When Mr. Adjmi, now 36, was a student years ago at the nearby Yeshivah of Flatbush in the Midwood section of Brooklyn, he was suspended for eating at Di Fara because it was nonkosher. “I was always getting into trouble for something,” he said gamely, recalling the many reasons he was an outsider at the school.
Mr. Adjmi (pronounced ADGE-me) said that he was more invested in finding an artistic voice than in achieving financial success; he questioned his Jewish faith; he struggled academically; and he was gay. “I felt an extraordinary anguish,” he said. “I don’t feel it so much anymore. The fonts of pain were opened up in writing this play.”
His handful of friends from Midwood, he said, “have all reconfigured their lives substantially” to break away from the tightknit Syrian-Jewish community. These days, Mr. Adjmi said, he even has his own cobbled-together brand of spirituality.
“Stunning” is a three-act play about the relationship between a Syrian-Jewish couple in present-day Midwood and their black housekeeper. Lily and Ike Schwecky (Cristin Milioti and Danny Mastrogiorgio) are married, though Lily is 16, and Ike is much older and coarser. They have a complicated relationship with Blanche Nesbitt (Charlayne Woodard), their seemingly overqualified live-in housekeeper.
“Stunning” veers from satire to tragedy. Blanche makes Lily ask painful questions about being a teenage wife and what she wants in life. Ike is also forced to look at himself. Blanche’s identity is more complex than it at first seems. All the characters inhabit a world in which they use prefabricated identities to ward off the pain and fear of not belonging and the hard work of real self-discovery.
“I think it’s about a lot of things,” Mr. Adjmi said of the play, which he began writing five years ago. “On one level, it’s about people who rely on this bulwark of appearance. They try to create this hard wall of surface to suffice for their wounds — personal wounds, cultural wounds, historical wounds. It’s like an Edith Wharton novel about the repressive forces of culture and how we internalize that stuff and how it erases us from ourselves.”
While Mr. Adjmi confronts provocative themes of race and contamination, he does not want to be misconstrued as mocking his characters. (There are six in all.) “The play is asking for empathy for people who are wounded,” Mr. Adjmi said. “In this play, power supplants love,” he added, but the characters “can’t make themselves vulnerable for various reasons: family, politics, race, sex.”
Standing outside the high school division of the yeshiva, at Avenue J and East 16th Street, looking at the girls in their ankle-length skirts and the boys in their yarmulkes, Mr. Adjmi thought things looked pretty much the same as it did in his day. But, he said, “I feel like I’ve come a long way.”
One of four children of a father who dabbled in various businesses (linens, electronics) and a homemaker mother, Mr. Adjmi began to come into his own as a student at Sarah Lawrence College, where he studied philosophy and literary theater, and graduated in 1995. He spent three years at the Writers’ Workshop at the University of Iowa, and also studied playwriting at Juilliard. Most recently, his play “The Evildoers,” about a pair of troubled marriages, was produced by the Yale Repertory Theater.
“Stunning,” set in the Syrian-Jewish enclave where Mr. Adjmi grew up, has been rewritten many times during previews this month. At one point he escorted the director, Anne Kauffman, and the entire cast to the neighborhood to have a look.
“Some people understand it’s satire; others take it literally,” Mr. Adjmi said of the play’s audiences. “It’s meant to be broad. I’m always crosshatching the satire and the tragedy.”
Mr. Adjmi, who has Syrian and Sephardic roots, said family had been “fairly understated and supportive.”
The reaction in larger circles has been more mixed. Syrian Jews in Brooklyn, who number about 75,000, can be insular, Mr. Adjmi said. One method of keeping outsiders at bay is a 1935 edict by rabbis in the Syrian-Jewish community that not only bans intermarriage with non-Jews, but also adds that “this law covers conversion, which we consider to be fictitious and valueless.”
“Stunning” is the second production of the Lincoln Center Theater’s LCT3 programming initiative, which is intended to bring new artists and new audiences to Lincoln Center. Paige Evans, director of LCT3, said she was struck by the intensity and ambition of Mr. Adjmi’s voice, and said Lincoln Center hoped to have “an ongoing relationship” with Mr. Adjmi.
“He writes with both style and substance, and it’s unusual to find both,” Ms. Evans said of Mr. Adjmi. “The play is literal, and there’s also a heightened, abstract aspect.”
Howard Shalwitz, artistic director and co-founder of the Woolly Mammoth Theater Company in Washington, where “Stunning” had its world premiere last year, called Mr. Adjmi “brilliant.”
He added, “I personally see him in the Albee tradition, in the sense that Albee tries to get at big, deep themes, the psyche inside the soul.”
Peter Marks of The Washington Post gave “Stunning” a mostly positive review last year, although he thought Mr. Adjmi stumbled toward the end. Mr. Marks wrote, in part, “The play migrates intriguingly from the path of comedy to a realm more plaintive and tragic.”
On a lighter note, there is pizza to be had.
Mr. Adjmi, who jokes that 36 is “100 in playwright years,” said he would be content to have pizza from Di Fara as his last meal. He is planning to stick around, though, maybe making films and writing essays as well as plays. He has a lot to say about his life and the lives of so many people who are haunted by the past, who numb themselves and play by the rules to feel safe.
“I’ve been in dark places,” Mr. Adjmi said, “because I’ve pushed myself to look at things that can’t easily be repaired or healed.”

Famous Syrian Jewish Designer- Isaac Mizrahi - Biography

Please watch:Harvey Milk Speech - "Hope"

Monday, December 12, 2011

A Work in Progress- This Blog Page

I am glad you found this and hope that some of what is here can help educate, create understanding and for people to know they are not alone! You will see new ideas and articles on here daily!

RCA Reaffirms It's Position on Gay Marriage

RCA Reaffirms Policies regarding Same Sex Attraction and Marriage, while Clarifying its Position on Reparative Therapy


Policies Headlines

Dec 12, 2011 -- In light of the extensive media coverage concerning the attitude of Orthodox Judaism towards homosexuality, the Rabbinical Council of America, the largest Rabbinical group within Orthodox Judaism, has decided to issue the following clarifications:

1. The Torah and Jewish tradition, in the clearest of terms, prohibit the practice of homosexuality. Same-sex unions are against both the letter and the spirit of Jewish law, which sanctions only the union of a man and a woman in matrimony.

2. Attempts to ritualize or celebrate same-sex unions are antithetical to Jewish law. Any clergyman who performs or celebrates a same-sex union cannot claim the mantle of Orthodox Judaism.

3. While homosexual behavior is prohibited, individuals with homosexual inclinations should be treated with the care and concern appropriate to all human beings. As Rabbis we recognize the acute and painful challenges faced by homosexual Jews in their quest to remain connected and faithful to God and tradition. We urge those Orthodox Jews with homosexual tendencies to seek counsel from their Rabbis. Equally, we urge all Rabbis to show compassion to all those who approach them.

4. On the subject of reparative therapy, it is our view that, as Rabbis, we can neither endorse nor reject any therapy or method that is intended to assist those who are struggling with same-sex attraction. We insist, however, that therapy of any type be performed only by licensed, trained practitioners. In addition, we maintain that no individual should be coerced to participate in a therapeutic course with which he or she is acutely uncomfortable.

5. We pray that God will ease the way for all who struggle with a full heart to feel His presence in their lives

Gay Suicide Victim


Tyler Clementi, Gay Suicide Victim, Had No Close Friends: Parents

Tyler Clementi
By GEOFF MULVIHILL   12/12/11 01:45 PM ET   AP/Huffington Post

RIDGEWOOD, N.J. -- When ultra-responsible New Jersey teenager Tyler Clementi unburdened himself to his parents before heading off to college, there was a lot on his mind. In a 45-minute conversation, the 18-year-old told his mother he was gay, that he was having doubts about whether there is a God and that he felt friendless.

RIDGEWOOD, N.J. -- When ultra-responsible New Jersey teenager Tyler Clementi unburdened himself to his parents before heading off to college, there was a lot on his mind. In a 45-minute conversation, the 18-year-old told his mother he was gay, that he was having doubts about whether there is a God and that he felt friendless.
His mother thought it made her son feel better to tell her what was on his mind, though his secrets and sorrow were hard for her to hear."He left very comfortable and very relieved," she said. "I was very surprised, very much like someone had kicked me in the stomach."
Four weeks later, Clementi jumped to his death from the George Washington Bridge after his Rutgers University roommate allegedly used a webcam to spy on his intimate encounter with another man.
Joe and Jane Clementi have read some statements to reporters and issued more through their lawyer. But it's only now, 14 months after their son's death, that they have decided to grant interviews in an effort to promote the foundation they're launching in their son's honor. The goal of the foundation is to increase acceptance of gay young people, prevent suicide and stop online bullying.
The Clementis' family tragedy received a lot of media attention, and they now say they can see some good coming from it."The positive would be that the publicity did generate interest in some of these big issues that need to be addressed," said Jane Clementi, a 53-year-old public health nurse.
Clementi's death spurred a national conversation about the treatment young gays and lesbians often endure. Leaders from President Barack Obama to talk show host Ellen DeGeneres weighed in. The punk rock band Rise Against recorded a song, "Make it Stop (September's Children)" about the suicides of bullied young gays. In New Jersey, lawmakers say they adopted a school anti-bullying law in part because of Clementi's death.
The saga still is playing out in criminal court where the roommate, Dharun Ravi, faces 15 counts of criminal charges, including invasion of privacy and bias intimidation, a hate crime punishable by up to 10 years in state prison. Last week, Ravi, a citizen of India who is in the U.S. legally, rejected a plea bargain that would have ensured him no prison time and would have given him protection against deportation if he is convicted. A trial is scheduled to start Feb. 21.
Ravi has no homicide charges connected to Clementi's death. His defense lawyers have indicated that they will try to show jurors that factors other than the webcam issue and Ravi's Twitter postings about it led Clementi to suicide. Prosecutors say the issue is Ravi's alleged crimes – not what happened to Clementi.
Until now, Clementi's life story has been told largely through what could be gleaned from court documents and his scattered online postings, including on some gay-oriented message boards.
Clementi was incredibly driven and meticulous – so responsible that his mother would ask him to do the family's grocery shopping.
While in high school, Clementi always wanted to arrive early, his mother said."He jumped out of bed," Jane Clementi said. "He wanted to be there every morning by 7:15," even though classes didn't begin for another half-hour.
Throughout his childhood, Clementi relied on his own extensive research, mostly from the Internet, to teach himself new hobbies. He went through phases where his ever-changing interests included unicycling, cacti, the stock market and photography.If he couldn't find an answer to one of his questions about a hobby by searching the Web, he was likely to post a question in a chat forum. It was the same approach he took later when he was concerned about Ravi's webcam. It's not clear he talked to anyone he knew other than his dorm's resident assistant, but he did seek advice from strangers on a message board.
At 17, when he decided to get serious about bicycling, his parents were amused to watch as he used money from gifts and his savings to buy a bike and an abundance of gear – from a helmet and biking shorts to a bag to hold all his tools and spare parts.No one in his family had much experience or interest in biking – or any of his other hobbies. He'd regularly ride 20 miles or so and sometimes as far as 50 – always solo.
Clementi's main passion was violin, even though he came from a family where no one else was a musician. While he usually shied from attention, he loved to perform at concerts and loved hearing applause, his father said.In local youth orchestras, he always was driven to become concertmaster, or first-chair violinist, his parents said. But after getting the positions he often was disappointed with the performance of his peers, his mother said.Music also was the center of his social life. But his parents noticed, belatedly, that while he was outgoing and sociable at rehearsals, he didn't often see orchestra or school friends anywhere else. He never had friends over, or went to the homes of others. If he was bullied, they said, he never brought it up.
And as good as he was as a violinist, he decided music would not be his career. He didn't want to have to teach, his father said. And, even as a teenager, he was realistic about the downside of the career. "He didn't like the unsteady paycheck," Jane Clementi said. "He was a very consistent person and wanted things stable."
She said she was in the family's living room a few days before her youngest son was to head off to college. Tyler Clementi, who had been watching TV in the partially finished basement, emerged. She said he was shaking. She thought he was having fears about college.To her surprise, he told her he was gay. And he shared his doubts about faith, and his sorrow about not having closer friends. Each topic would have been a big one on its own – and a surprise to a mother who thought she knew what was going on.The news altered her expectations for his future. She said she had talked with Clementi during their regular walks together about her frustration that his brother James, whom she believed to be gay, didn't come out to the family. He has since come out. Even in that context, she said, Tyler Clementi never let on that he was gay. "I was a little upset about the trust thing," she said. "Why didn't you tell me before?"
The conversation ended with hugs and "I love you's." When she heard him a bit later, laughing at a "Seinfeld" rerun, she thought he was OK. She thought she was the one who was struggling: "Was I sad? Yeah, I was. You can't help your feelings." She said that she told him they could talk further later; since college was about to start, she said, they had to focus on getting him ready and delivering him to campus.
Joe Clementi, 55 and the public works director in Hawthorne, N.J., said that the next afternoon, he took Clementi for a car ride. "I told him, `You've got to be careful. Not everyone is accepting as some people are.'"
Two days after that conversation, they were moving Clementi into Davidson Residence Hall C in Piscataway, part of the sprawling Rutgers campus, an hour's drive from his New Jersey home in the suburbs of New York City.In coming weeks, Clementi would talk with his parents every four or five days, with text messages exchanged in between.There was no sign of problems, his parents said.
But Clementi's text messages to a few friends in court documents told a different story. In one series of messages, he said he had come out to his family: "mom has basically completely rejected me." "I don't even see that as that," Jane Clementi said, "though maybe children see things differently."
___

JONAH's "Ex-Gay" Striptease

"Take Off Your Pants"-Jewish ‘Ex-Gay’ Group JONAH

Jewish ‘Ex-Gay’ Group JONAH Pioneers ‘Take Off Your Pants, Touch Yourself’ Method of De-Gayification

THE HOMOSEXUALS ARE COMING!Do you find yourself to be “gay and Jewish,” but wish you could shake the “gay” part? Well, then just remove your pants, stand in front of this mirror and stroke yourself for me, and you’ll be the lady-romancing “Eric Cantor” of your local shul before you know it! The senior counselor for JONAH, (Jews Offering New Alternatives to Homosexuality … no, really!), the nation’s largest Jewish “pray away the gay” group, which actually exists, has been caught using extremely creative and sexually abusive methods to de-gay his clients.
Truth Wins Out (TWO) released an exclusive video statement today from two former clients of “ex-gay” life coach Alan Downing. The clients, Ben Unger and Chaim Levin, alleged that during individual therapy sessions, Downing made them undress in front of a mirror and touch their bodies while the significantly older therapist watched. Unger and Levin call the sessions a “psychological striptease” and believe they were harmed by what they consider unprofessional behavior and sexual misconduct.
Downing, who admits he is still attracted to men, is a major player in the “ex-gay” industry and a practitioner of so-called “reparative therapy”. He is the lead therapist for Jews Offering New Alternatives to Homosexuality (JONAH) and is listed on the People Can Change website as a “Senior Trainer” for Journey into Manhood, which is a controversial “ex-gay” backwoods retreat designed to supposedly make gay men more masculine.
Journey Into Manhood, of course, spells “JIM,” because these guys always name their ex-gay ministries after the last guy to bang them into sweet guilt-ridden oblivion. (Also, they settled on JONAH because it was too hard to come up with a name that spelled out “SHALOM!”* Also, whales swallow.)
“He was encouraging me, ‘it’s okay Ben, you can take your shirt off’ … here was a man that was much older than me, and I was around 20,” said Ben Unger, a former client of Alan Downing. “At that point, I was just staring at a mirror with my shirt off and he was right behind me staring at the mirror with me at my body. Then telling me to look at my body and feel my body. It was weird.”
There’s video below, but allow me to sum up this method, which you can feel free to try with your nearest penis-having buddy at your earliest convenience! First you have to decide which one of you is going to be “the counselor” and who is going to play “young, strapping, guilty and Chosen.” Got it?
Okay, now, the counselor stands behind the sexy student and encourages him to talk about things that make him feel Less Masculine, and remove an article of clothing for each one. For instance, yours might be “my teal belt,” and so you’d remove the patriotic cock ring you put on that day “just in case.” Now, once you are naked, it’s time to RE-GRASP YOUR MASCULINITY, so please re-grasp your masculinity in front of this mirror where I can see you. (Hint for slow learners: Your masculinity is on your penis.) There, very good! You are a very good student!

Now comes The Awful Part, where you put your clothes back on until next time. Lather, rinse, repeat. See, now you’re not gay, thanks to Science.  Mazel tov!
Also of note: This “JONAH” outfit was co-founded by the Bernie Madoff of 1989, so it’s a complete surprise that they’re gross. [Truth Wins Out/YouTube]

Jewish? Orthodox? Gay? JQY

Jewish? Orthodox? Gay?

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        Welcome to JQYouth! We are a social/support group made up of frum/formerly frum* gay, lesbian, bi, and trans Jews ages 17-30. We meet regularly for monthly meetings and informal social get-togethers. In addition we have an anonymous online discussion group.
On this site you can find out more about our experiences of being young, gay and frum. You'll also learn how you can become part of the JQYouth community and meet other young frum gay Jews. 
 
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        Our members come from frum communities such as: Flatbush, Kew Garden Hills, Lakewood, Teaneck, Boro Park, Monsey, Crown Heights, The Upper West Side, Washington Heights, Lawrence, Hancock Park (L.A), Toronto, Montreal, Golders Green, Melbourne, Tel-Aviv and Jerusalem. 

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We also offer anonymous online support if you would prefer to discuss your questions/issues privately with one of the guys.
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